Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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