Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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