I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
