chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
please don't ironically join a cult
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