My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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