It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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