AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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