how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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