So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
dude. I can hear the air.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
