there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My liver just had a heart attack.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
