Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
