similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
