I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Text me some of your sweat
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
