Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
