Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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