How'd it feel making her break her religion?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize