Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize