My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
FUCK WHALES
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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