I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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