Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
