trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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