I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
