You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
nutella sex= disaster
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize