Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
