I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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