and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
