i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
