his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
