u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
