I'm gonna have a badass scar
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
