This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
