Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
