Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize