Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
