Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
