I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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