Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize