Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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