can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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