We're facebook friends in real life
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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