How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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