Your mouth is God's brothel.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A bitchslap is in order.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
