The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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