my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
