I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
