i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
