did you get engaged???
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize