Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
