she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
