it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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