did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize