between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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