Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
