oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
