I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
