I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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