You're a womanizer and a bitch.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
